An update and the like...

Update at last! So many things to cover…so little space. I’ll attempt to keep this short and sweet, but I tend to be long winded…or rather long worded.

It’s Finally FINALLY October, that time of year where my life stops for one thing, Baseball. I’m happy to report that my team, the Cards, are doing rather well and if they keep playing well will have a nice spot in the World Series…I’ll keep you posted, for I’m sure you, my beloved readers are just as excited as I am *wink*.
Now something I’ve been pondering as of late and not alone mind you, relationships. I’ve noticed that the majority if not all of my friends are male, and if they are female they aren’t the overly feminine type. In reviewing this I realize it might have something to do with my intellect type, in the end I guess it could be because I’m honestly just odd. I mean I’m 22 and watch Fraggle Rock, I enjoy Star Wars, Star Trek, Fantasy, sci-fi, and historical fiction novels, and I’m obsessed with baseball, not to mention play games like www.sissyfight.com on purpose. With all these factors it can be hard if not impossible to find people of a like minded nature. If you add in my insanely polar moods and baggage, I’m not the most sought after girl on the planet. Yet I keep running into men who are exactly what I want, sometimes to often so. I met Clarkie through a friend almost 4 years ago. We connected instantly as our conversation turned to books. The next 2 hours were spent discussing the merits of this book over that one and that author’s metaphors over this author’s symbolism. We were good friends and slowly became something else; eventually we entered into a quasi relationship. Hearts were broken, relationships were shattered, rebuilt, shattered, rebuilt, and then he married. Our relationship now is at a stalemate. Our lives in two different worlds, a separation from which we cannot push through, but we’ll always have those 3 years together as amazing friends. Then about a year or actually two years ago I met Jeff. He and a friend of mine from HS were together at the time, and we formed a friendship. It was slow at first, but eventually we hit this common ground which I believe sparked our relationship. We to now have this odd relationship, which I value very much. He is a friend, someone who is there for me when in need, someone to laugh with, but he is also this connection that I’ve been missing. He just understands me; at the same time I think I understand him. We talk about things silly, simple, profound, religious, and intellectual. We just click. In the way of romance we’ve crossed the bridge and moved on. We love each other but aren’t in love, happily figured out now instead of later when hearts would be broken, relationships shattered, and then rebuilt. My next guest on the list will never become a best friend, for the sole reason that he isn’t available in that since to the female populace. He is engaged. Our relationship has started at an odd point, I didn’t meet him through a friend, and while I’ve known him for about a year, I really didn’t get to know much about him till this semester when work forced us together. Slowly however our friendship is growing, and I’m struggling to maintain a since of friendship. He’s unavailable which makes it gads easier, but alas his personality has me hooked. It’s odd how often I find myself in relationships of questionable ground. I feel like these past few years have been a roller coaster when it comes to love, and while not bitter, I am slightly distressed. I just want calm and rational for a while. I procrastinate love unlike anyone I know, closing myself off to men if the slightest thing isn’t “correct”. Finally not three weeks before my 23 birthday I had my first kiss, and still I find myself wondering how it happened, what I was thinking, and where to go from here. Relationships are complicated enough without love being a factor, I’m dramatic enough alone without adding to the equation. I sometimes wonder how in the world anyone finds love in this crazy insane mixed up world, and yet as my Grandparents celebrate their 66 wedding anniversary on the 11th, I realize that love while overly complicated, insanely hard to find, and completely unwilling to leave me alone is looking for me, and when the timing is right, I’ll crash into it. Until then, cheers.
Speaking of 66th wedding anniversaries, it’s Fall Break and I’m going home! Today actually, I’m rather excited to be headed to the Ozarks, fall is my favorite season where I’m from. The trees are stunning. The trip should be fun, and it’s a total surprise to my family. On the 11th of October my Papa and Gran will have been married 66 years and my Papa will be 83, on the 12th I’ll be 23 and my beloved puppy Pierre will be 14. Its always been a big time of year at my house, so many things to celebrate. I won’t be home on the those dates, but I’ll be there until Tuesday so although early its still close. My Papa is going to be so thrilled to see me. I can’t wait to surprise him! Anne and I are going to go to Branson for a couple of days and Barbs is getting to go home and see her parents. It should be a total blast to escape Oklahoma for a bit. I plan on having some pictures and updates when I return, so until then!