Another rambling post...

I’m tired. My job, which normally is not too much stress, has for some reason taken over my life. I do not recall school being so complicated when I was a mere Computer Assistant, rather than the Manager, yet all summer I begged for school to start again. I’ve missed the classes, the knowledge I gain from them, and the interesting people I meet. I just wish I didn’t wake up so sleepy every morning.
Math is going to be my thorn this semester; of course it always has been my thorn. I’m good at the creative, not the analytical. I have always excelled at subjects like English and struggled with Math. I hope someday I can have a better grasp of it, but I’m not betting my future on it. Hopefully I can just pass the class with a C; I don’t think that’s too much to ask lol.

French is my favorite class by far. I love my Prof and I love the way French sings when spoken. It’s a beautiful language, and I’m excited to be learning it! Très Bien! Actually I can’t say that French is my favorite, because I really like my peoples of Mesoamerica Class too. It’s an upper level anthropology course, and I have a lot of fun just listening to my Prof, who has an enormous amount of knowledge about the subject. He’s also a very good Prof in general. My other class is Criminal Profiling and it is just fun in general. I love shows like CSI and my Prof is not only a former police officer, but even attended the FBI academy. It helps that he also has a doctorate in Sociology, which is my favorite subject! I love learning, and love that I can sit through a class without a panic attack.

Going home this weekend! I’m so excited to finally get the chance to see my Papa again. I miss him, and I miss the Ozarks. I know I’ve prattled about the Ozarks for a long time, but there is a beauty there I’ve never found anywhere else, I’m glad to be headed back. Yesterday I got new glasses, and oddly enough they are in my school’s colors, Orange and Black. I think it’s pretty funny personally, but they looked the best, and as my boss pointed out this morning they match the Orange vest that the Computer Assistants have to wear. Yay :P lol

The ideals of life, love, and an average 23 year old

It has been a while since I’ve sat down and written an honest to goodness entry. So much has been going on that I honestly have not had a chance. I’ve been busy, and when I’m not attempting to spend time with my doggie, boyfriend, and roomie, I’m sleeping.

Work is interesting to say the least, and a millions times better than it used to be. I love my new boss. He’s kind and has a great sarcastic sense of humor. He’s setting some pretty strict rules on certain things, but the functioning of the labs is beginning to run so smoothly, that I don’t really mind the new rules. Not to mention that he seems to appreciate the work that I do.

The boyfriend is great, he bought me this really awesome stereo for my car, and a beautiful diamond necklace for our anniversary. Normally I’m not into jewelry, but the necklace is perfect for me. It simple and white gold…I hate yellow gold. I’ve never owned a diamond and it’s nice to have some. We’ve been together now for longer than six months, which for me is a big deal. I have to say I like where we are going.

School started yesterday, and it was a completely different experience for me than the last few years have been. I didn’t feel afraid of the classes, and I was actually comfortable with the idea of attendance. It’s amazing how my anxiety meds have improved my life. Classes have been bearable, and even interesting. I don’t struggle to pay attention or feel as if I’m being ostracized. I’m proud of myself for the improvements in my life. Not only does school seem to be going better, but I also seen to be handling my money, food, and life with more ease. I wont lie I have my moments, but overall things are going great.

I have a feeling that all these anxieties, which for so many years have caused me pain and grief, are becoming unimportant. I see it best in my relationship with Chase. I allow him farther into my inner self than I have ever allowed anyone. I’m vulnerable with him, and for me that is the more than complicated. Dare I say I love him taking care of me, and I love taking care of him? He brings me a form of balance I’ve never experienced and has been a tremendous help as I’ve transitioned from neurotic Meg to functioning Meg and finally to successful Meg.

I guess it may be awhile before I update again, depending on my homework and the pace of the semester, but I will say before I close, it is nice to for once be able to enjoy life rather than haphazardly running through it hoping to God that I don’t miss the important things.

"One can get just as much exultation in losing oneself in a little thing as in a big thing. It is nice to think how one can be recklessly lost in a daisy!"
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

First Day of Classes

"Suddenly I awake to a stark amazement at everything... To be alive is so incredible that all I can do is to lie still and merely breathe." -- W.N.P. Barbellion