For the love of pete!

I have no idea how to write about anything right now…that said: Happy Friday.

Sometimes I get lost in myself and I don’t know how to escape.

and she hits a Grand Slam!

Who here is a baseball fan? *jumps up and down waving frantically* A few minutes ago out of curiosity I checked the spring schedule for the Cards. I love baseball so much that my life tends to start to revolve around it. Summers growing up were spent with my Papa watching every televised game, it was our thing. Having been raised on Cardinal Baseball, I’m a diehard fan. Unfortunately living so far away from St. Louis has made it more than a little difficult in the past few years to attend games. I even had to miss the final games in my beloved Busch stadium before renovation. Still I survived and even looked into season tickets or tickets for certain series. That being said, to me the largest rivalry for the Cards is hands down the Houston Astros. Hate really isn’t a strong enough word for how I feel about this team, and while I respect their players, for me Astros vs. Cards is just like Yankees vs. Red Sox…its really that serious. So as I’m looking at the schedule, guess who is playing a three game series exactly one month before my birthday at Busch stadium…oh come on…guess! That’s right, the Cards vs. Astros, now I just need someone to come with me…this would make my lame birthday amazing (even if its a month early)…I really want to do this! I can just see me in the stadium screaming and having a grand old time, finally enjoying a birthday, something I’ve been denied the last three years. I need to start harassing people about coming with me; unfortunately no one I know loves baseball quite like me. I bet I can woo someone or I might just have to kidnap someone to go otherwise, and going to jail for baseball is a little extreme, even for me.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
“Pooh!” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet?”
“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

I cannot explain why I love this quote...I just do.

Contemplative

There are a lot of things in life I tend to forget, last night I was reminded of one of them. We went to Tulsa to grab my laptop AC cord which I had left there, but the most amazing part of this little adventure, the stars. I sat in the passenger seat and watched them twinkle with their beautiful pale light, and it made me long for home. In Grove I could sit on my front porch with the concrete seeping its cold in through my pajama pants and the stars blazing in the sky. I would just sit there for hours staring at them; I could be free of thought in those moments, free of everything, only me, the cold concrete, and those brilliant stars. It has been a long time since I’ve lived in a place where the stars shine as brightly as they do on that front porch. I’ve heard it said that things always seem more glorious in memory, but I honestly believe that the stars shine brighter no where else. There is a small town on the side of a highway where tractors drive down the main street, kids can still walk to school safely, everyone knows who you are and what you are up to, and in that quiet little town is a porch where the stars shine only for me.

Rush Hour...

I am not sure how to express what I'm going through right now. Last night Clarkie informed me upon my intuitive sense that something was up...He has moved his wedding up a year. A YEAR! Already feeling like my friendship with him was being stretched I'm sure that this will take the taffy to the limit. What am I going to do with this? I again repeat how amazingly happy I am for him, but I can't help but feel helpless in the sense that I'm losing my best friend...and that I'm losing a person who truly knows me. *sigh* I'm not sure where to go from here...

Contentment

This has been one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. From the amazing time I've spent with my Brett to work going smoothly and quickly, things have just worked. I'm content, I'm happy, I'm in luff =)

Sorely Missed

The craziest adventure occurred for me this afternoon. I rode to Tulsa with Jason. I work this weekend and have been honestly been missing the company of my best friend. It was great when I realized that I could ride with him instead of taking the bus like I normally do. The trip was filled with us talking about music, friendship, and life in general. It was like it was fall again, before we were pulled apart by the typical symptoms of growing up. I miss him, and I realize that things are not going to be the same now that he is getting married. Married, how crazy that sounds. My little Clarkie, my Tex, my Jason...no longer mine I guess. I have no feelings for him, I haven't in a lifetime it seems, yet I love him. We are transcendent of all that we've gone through. Its amazing how life works out, things slowly become replaced and changed. We've both grown used to the distance that has started to occur. The rarity of seeing each other has become more and more normal for us. The beauty of it all is that he is madly in love, and I'd never begrudge him that wonderful thing. Perhaps someday I too will know what it is like to be loved the way he loves his fiancee'. I'm on an adventure of my own, perhaps more complicated and wildly dramatic, but mine. He was and will always be a part of me and I will always remember him, even if life takes us down different roads. He will always be my Anita and I will always be his Raul, and we will always make people laugh together, twinkies. He'll just be someone else's Zinger...lol yay for obscure inside jokes and food references. In the end I guess I've got my own Zinger to find =)
-Meg

Dance your cares away *clap clap*

I found the most amazing thing at wal-mart last night! I'm sure you've guessed it by now, Fraggle Rock: Complete First Season. There are around 6 DVD's in the case and it contains all 24 eppies. I was so excited I did a dance and began singing the song as Anne and I browsed the movie section. A random guy even clapped at the part of the song where the Fraggles Clap and then winked at me. It was pretty funny. You can get the theme song here if you are curious :)This show was a major part of my childhood and I have loved it every since. I highly highly recommend it for people with kids. It has great songs, lessons, and humor even for adults. I also purchased Valley Girl and Stephen King's TommyKnockers. Valley Girl is hands down one of my favorite movies. It cracks me up that to this day valley speak is still a major part of culture, like for real. Anyway if you love movies and like them cheap, wal-mart has a movie bin with all sorts of movies for $5.50. There were a million I wanted to buy, but once I found the Complete First Season of Fraggle Rock I had to put them back. They had What Dreams May Come which is also one of my favorite books, Panic Room with Jodie Foster, Hot Shots: Part Deux, Gattaca another one of my favorite movies, and a million and half more. Anyway that is my random blog for the day =)

-Meg

Loved?

I wonder what its like to be so loved that a person can't get enough of you? They put their friends, their school, their lives on hold to talk to you or spend one more hour with you. I sure know what its like to be friends with a person who loves someone that much...its lonely.

Waiting...

Sometimes I feel as if I'm just hanging out waiting...okay edit I feel like I'm always sitting around waiting, but for what? I was just sitting in my room playing Mario listing to Freebird and it struck me, in less than 8 months I'll be 23. This spring I was supposed to graduate from College, and I was going to do a backpack trip through Europe to celebrate. Over two years ago I realized this was just a dream and I'd be in school much longer than expected. What am I doing with my life? 23 is not old, I won't pretend that it is, but look how fast it crept up on me. Soon I'll look back and I'll be 30 and then 40 and before long I'll be my Papa's age. The years are increasing in speed and I'm starting to feel as if I'm wasting it. Clarkie came over tonight, and his fiancee called him. I listened to him talk to her and saw his demeanor change, and smack another shining example of people growing up. Why can't we stay here a little longer? Why can't Lost night be our thing for another 5 or 6 years? Why can't I always sleep on an air mattress and go to class and work? This is safe, this is comfortable, this is home...but for how much longer.

I have thought for a while about moving to Blogger, and recently I discovered some unhappy things about my former blogging home. I feel after much research this morning and the past week that I am indeed better off moving here. Not only do I know people who blog here, but I also feel that the way the site is set up and run is far better than previous blogging sites I've used. So I say a cheery hello to the blogger community :)
-Meg